What Do I Want Most?

It occurred to me today that Bearing Fruit has much been on my mind of late. I think about it daily. I walk around in frustration from the lack of fruit in my life.

Debt reduction, weight reduction, even complaining reduction, more joy, more relationship, more kindness and gentleness, more Bible study, more writing, more teaching, more education. These are constantly on my mind. 

See, I want to honor and glorify God. I really do. He has given me life and an eternity in His presence. His Son has redeemed me from wrath. I have been given SO MUCH. There is SO MUCH I want to give in return. I want to live a life of thanksgiving. 

Then it finally hit home. I finally know what my problem is (I hear your thoughts! One of my problems anyway)- it is that I am still all about me. Oh I figured since I wanted to honor the Lord it was fine if I demand things on my terms. I have plans. Great plans. All for Him. Um, except that it has continually been a fight for my terms. 

As I see Him ebbing away at my pride, and my foolish confidence in things of the flesh, I am strangely coming closer to peace. I think my father would say I am getting old. An acquaintance, Pastor Larry Wilson, recently blogged about a similar realization.  

The Apostle Paul also spoke about this many times. He seemed so other worldly and full of rejoicing and thanksgiving. He seemed to fight the fight so well, almost careless of the surrounding circumstances!

The same God that promised He would not forsake Paul, and the same God that promised Paul that He would complete what He began, is the same God that promised He will bear fruit through me. Hmmm.

Ephesians 2:10 puts it well:

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."