Identity Crisis

Frankly, I have many. But at this time I shall limit it to my blog. I cannot believe it has been 8 months since my last post, yet with all that has gone on in our lives (jobs while homeschooling, travels, finishing all the house projects and putting it on the market, researching housing in OH and then NC, continuing ed in Biblical counseling, and so on) I am not completely surprised.

My job is winding down this week. I now find myself with "free time" and I'm nervous about how to assign it. Ironically that means that it is getting frittered away, a bit. But I am enjoying quiet days at home walking and talking with my sons, getting through all my emails, completing laundry in a timely manner, keeping up with the crumbs on the counter, dreaming and praying about what to do next, and so on.

Back to the Identity Crisis. What to do with the blog? What to post? When to post?

I think I will make this blog my designated family blog. It will be where I share the happenings in our family... for our family afar. I think I will start another one for all my "deeper" musings. I have toyed with different posting ideas. I am still playing with ideas, but I think the title will be:

Faith... Fatally Flawed yet Forgiven and Free (an enemy Loved).

I know, I try too hard. I feel I need to have it all, and then its too much. Passion does that.

Musings

A Day of Sweet Surprises

Bumble Bees, Dear Friends and so much more...

OUTSIDERS

First Fruits from the Container Gardens...

Caution! Objects in photo appear larger than they are! :0)

INSIDERS

After much babying, I woke up to the Gardenia in bloom again!

FRIENDS, FLOWERS and CHOCOLATE

THINGS DONE

Flowers from Jan's Garden, Lunch at Wildflowers Cafe...

and a stop at the incredible Sunflower Field. 

There was a theme to our lovely afternoon! 

Such a dear lady! Thank you, Jan.

A SHOUT OUT

To Cynthia for spending hours at Starbucks with me Monday 

catching up and pouring out our hearts. Here is to Truth and Love, dear friend!

THINGS TO COME

Tricia (in the middle- a long lost friend from high school) 

is on her way for a visit! Tomorrow we drive to Indy 

to meet another HS friend, Kathryn, for lunch. 

 Sweet times call for sweet Chocolate Zucchini Bread fresh from the oven.

It's been a nice couple of days... 

good things still to come.

The Lord's blessings to you as well.

What Do I Want Most?

It occurred to me today that Bearing Fruit has much been on my mind of late. I think about it daily. I walk around in frustration from the lack of fruit in my life.

Debt reduction, weight reduction, even complaining reduction, more joy, more relationship, more kindness and gentleness, more Bible study, more writing, more teaching, more education. These are constantly on my mind. 

See, I want to honor and glorify God. I really do. He has given me life and an eternity in His presence. His Son has redeemed me from wrath. I have been given SO MUCH. There is SO MUCH I want to give in return. I want to live a life of thanksgiving. 

Then it finally hit home. I finally know what my problem is (I hear your thoughts! One of my problems anyway)- it is that I am still all about me. Oh I figured since I wanted to honor the Lord it was fine if I demand things on my terms. I have plans. Great plans. All for Him. Um, except that it has continually been a fight for my terms. 

As I see Him ebbing away at my pride, and my foolish confidence in things of the flesh, I am strangely coming closer to peace. I think my father would say I am getting old. An acquaintance, Pastor Larry Wilson, recently blogged about a similar realization.  

The Apostle Paul also spoke about this many times. He seemed so other worldly and full of rejoicing and thanksgiving. He seemed to fight the fight so well, almost careless of the surrounding circumstances!

The same God that promised He would not forsake Paul, and the same God that promised Paul that He would complete what He began, is the same God that promised He will bear fruit through me. Hmmm.

Ephesians 2:10 puts it well:

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Joan of Arc? Not in my Defense...

Has it been 2 months?! Whew, I've been so busy with the homeschool convention.

So, my father calls me the fighter in the family. I don't think he meant it to be rude. My name means "lioness of God" for a reason. I have spent most of the last 39 years (yes, I am a 69er) fighting for what is right. Sometimes based on my opinion. Sometimes based on my expectations. Sometimes based on what is in the Scripture- chapter versable stuff. Fighting never-the-less. 

As I have aged (think fine wine here) the Lord has faithfully allowed me to go through some desert experiences (see Deut 8). He has put me through some very humbling times. Isaiah says He wounds and then heals. I have endured some wounds in the last few years, but I have also been given Healing Waters. 

I am less and less inclined to fight- Him and others. I am more and more aware of my testimony as a child of God before others. If I claim His name, I need to be sensitive to show His love to others. I am learning that the world is ever watching, and they are offended by our in-fighting and back-biting manners as "Christians." 

I am tired of the fighting. I don't know that I have the balance down. I think it is important that we take stands. I do not ever want to compromise, but I do not want to fight either. I don't think that was Jesus' example. What do we accomplish? What is our testimony? Do we seek reconciliation? Restoration? Peace? 

Isn't there something better we can do with all this energy? As a wise older woman of God told me this weekend- "I will not defend myself. The Lord does not want me to defend myself." She was in a position where defense was not inappropriate, but she chose humility instead. Instantly. What a beautiful testimony. I want to be like that when I grow up. 

Inconsistency and Anger.

How do I consistently live so inconsistently?! 

On Mondays I meet with two dear ladies to discuss the Scriptures from a counseling aspect. We are currently studying Anger in the Word. We are going alphabetically through themes. Oh that the entire world was alphabetized, I digress. I sat and read at least 50 verses on Anger. I was touched to the core with the Lord's words on the prideful anger in our hearts. I got the difference between sinful verses righteous Anger. I really did get it, and agreed I with His wisdom.

Within an hour the boys woke up and proceeded with their morning routine of annoying each other, along with running around, wrestling, and thundering about upstairs. They weren't doing their chores (so nicely posted on the fridge in colors with alternating weeks so as to be "fair"). They weren't getting dressed, etc. so that they could begin their school work. They were whining about something, but I cannot remember what. Boy did I yell.

I had had enough of their lack of gratitude, self-control, and self- discipline, of their noise, bickering, inefficiency, and so on. Honestly, today I do not even remember what it was that ticked me off so much. I sit there thinking that I am justified in my Anger because they are sinning, again. I think I deserve better behavior from them, and I do. I am not unreasonable in my standards.

Yet I know that my response does not please the Lord. I know that I have not rested on His authority or sovereignty in their lives. They should know that their sinful behavior has consequences, and affects the lives of others greatly, but how to teach them that without raising my voice?! Don't they need to get an idea of the concept of wrath? Don't they need to know they do not sin in a vacuum? Don't they need to know they are driving their mother crazy (to paraphrase my own, dear mother)? I don't know.

I just want peace, and respect, and less sticky stuff all over the house. I would like to say something and just have it done. No arguing. No rebelling. No them going to play PS2 instead. 

Does the word Idol come to anyone's mind?!

Anytime I counsel another or when I reflect on my own desires (that, again, are not in themselves sinful) I hear my precious Father say to me, "My little Lioness, stop roaring and listen to Me. Are you listening to Me? That is all I want from you as well. Not unreasonable, eh? Why can you not meet My requests either? Are they too difficult for you? Are they insane demands from an unloving enemy? Dear, daughter, they are too difficult for you without My Spirit, but I have provided Him to you. You are still a masterpiece in progress, as are your sons. I've forgiven you thousands upon thousands of times. Extend Grace. Extend Forgiveness. Rest. In Me."

So, I  am trying to be quieter today. I have reading in Leviticus to do and also more Anger studying. Wonder what challenges lie ahead today? Thanks be to God that I am not alone and He will give victory. For His glory and for beauty. 

The Love Challenge for February

My friend Dea has challenged us to memorize 1 Cor 13.1-13 during the month of February!

Let me know if you will join us. I think she plans to post reminders and encouragements throughout February. What a great challenge, thanks Dea!

Next post I will put up picts of CA for those of you who did not see them on Facebook. Plus I really want to see them again myself. :0)

For many of us we are surrounded by snow and lacking simple things such as heat and power. Let's remember to thank the Lord for His gift of this beautiful white stuff that replenishes the earth (and kills the germs), but also to ask Him to protect all those out there with no electricity! Evansville, IN was hit particularly hard.

Short post folks. Enjoy it when you can- usually I have so much more to say. Off to work from home for a couple of hours. See ya! Stay safe out there.

Add Ons to the Last Post

Few things give me the thrill that organizing gives me. Just ask Pookie. I am sure I drove her nuts begging her to let me re-arrange cabinets and furniture. Such patience she had!

Three more organizing ideas:

Julie Morgenstern is like the Grand Master of organizers. The rest of them all got started with her! She may be a bit deeper than you want, but she covers it all and gives a great foundation. That is why  the three books on my last post were so helpful and inspiring. They were quick, easy and put things back in the forefront of my mind, but I am glad I had read Julie's books a few years ago.

Emilie Barnes has some lovely ideas and thinks it can all be done in 15 minute increments. That is quite a relief for most of us. It may take you MANY 15 minute increments, but that is easily squeezed into ANY schedule! She tackles every area of life from entertaining to labeling. Barb R.- might be a great way to organize the boxes for Africa! See her section on the card file box with 3x5's and coordinating numbers on boxes. 

For time management many have found Elizabeth George's book helpful. I read it. It IS good. It is practical and riddled with great Scriptural encouragement. However her sample of a poor schedule (that was apparently NOT a good way to live and had driven her to her doctor' office numerous times) looked fabulous to me, a DREAM schedule. Needless to say I did not get it, and I still struggle with that one. Apparently reality and I do not co-exist. :0)

So have fun and let me know how it goes!

2 Gifts I Gave Myself- Christmas 2008

I gave myself the gifts of better health and better organization. I only have one body while on this earth and it isn't getting any younger. I still have so much I want to do for the Lord, but it really is more difficult when I physically struggle. So here's to good health! And the Lord has been trying to teach me the value of simplicity for almost 5 years. I struggle to get it, but I am trying! His processes are not usually what I would choose though! So on to a more disciplined home and calendar/planner.

Why do these things always involve pain? And patience? And lots of work?!

I tried Jillian's exercise DVD on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day I could not raise my arms. At all. Listen, I ride 9 miles on the bike in the basement-with hills AND hand weights. I did not expect it to be THAT bad! I started the aspirin as soon as the DVD was over, and I continued the aspirin for the next 24hrs. So on Friday I tried it again using only 1.75LBS weights. Much better-after more aspirin. I still hate that 20 minutes (did it again yesterday), but there is hope.  I know it says 30-Days, but I plan to do it every other day so I guess it will take longer?  I suppose the pain is a good sign?! Time and aspirin will tell. Thanks for the tip, Shawn!

These books (I got the three pack on the Amazon page, scroll down) by Marcia Ramsland are written very simply. I am not sure I will learn a lot of new ideas, but it is great to have it in the forefront of my mind again. She simplifies and brings clarity to the process of organization. She is also encouraging! I needed the push to get things in order again. I am amazed and disheartened about the disarray around here. Where did all the stuff come from, and who is going to dust it all?! 

Saturday Christopher helped me inventory everything in our two pantries, and then I re-shelved everything in an orderly fashion. I think I don't 

need groceries for a while!!!!!!! Good grief. 

Sunday we went through all the Christmas stuff and put a bunch of it in the Give Away pile. Yea! It will be nice to have less stuff to get out next year. Often we do not use it all anyway. Getting in the spirit of things, while I was getting a hair cut Christopher came up with the idea to have two decor categories of bins (tree stuff and hous

e stuff) for the bins of junk, I mean items. So now it is sitting on the floor waiting for me to put away. Of the fun.

Later this week I want to move on to the desk in the family room. You know, the bill paying, postage, paperwork, mail piles? We'll see. I did pick up file folders and such at Office Depot today. So, no excuses!

In the end these are gifts well worth the effort. Now on to the effort. 

What did you give yourself this year?

Oh, say. Christopher gave me something as well. It came in this box...

That is enough to get the old heart rate up!

;0) THANKS, Babe!!!

A Quiet Christmas Eve Morning

Good Morning! I sit here listening to Third Day sing Christmas songs on our new Denon system that Christopher picked out. He does not know it is here (my thanks to EBay!). I got up early to set it up as a surprise. 

It is a dark, quiet and rainy Christmas Eve morning. All the guys (and Phoebe) are asleep. I sit here contemplating our Lord and am amazed at all the fuss we mortals make at Christmas, in the Name of Christ. 

Yesterday in the car Christopher and I discussed that we feel behind and guilty about our Christmas preparations based on requirements defined by others. In the midst of it all it is so easy to lose sight of our Saviour. And isn't that really the whole point? Really? Why do we let the world define our lives and what is good? Why would we compare ourselves to what we see around us and concern ourselves with keeping up? Doesn't this just serve to distract us from a quiet & gentle heart in love with and satisfied by our Lord? 

I worry about not having enough traditions. I worry about not making it meaningful enough. I worry about not enough special memories. I worry about the boys not seeing a Saviour in the mass of preparations and events. 

Then last year we found Behold the Lamb. Andrew Peterson has been doing this concert for about 10 years. He always ends the circuit here in Cincinnati. We went again this year and were able to share it with special friends as well. This is a night of worship and laughter. It is a night of music and also of the whole story of Jesus in songs. It always reminds me of the awesome majesty of our Lord. 

I don't know what traditions you hold. I don't know if right now you are on the road, in the air, or preparing for guests. But I pray that you find some quiet moments to praise our Lord and to rejoice in His gifts to you: His gifts of forgiveness and life; His gifts of grace and mercy; His gifts of everything you could ever imagine to ask for- that really matters anyway.

All praise and glory to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2009, from our hearts to yours!

Merry ECard 2008 (No mailings this year-saving a tree!)

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Where do they go...?

Merry Christmas from the Corcorans

Click on the above link for a fun greeting from us!

Time, days, weeks, years, money, expectations and so on?! They just seem to vaporize before our eyes! Mine anyway! The Lord tells us to be mindful of every thought and word and yet I find they flit about me without nearly enough intentionality.  I MEAN to pay attention. I really do. I have Very Good Intentions, and then I find another week, month, year has gone by and I am still playing catch up.

The Lord keeps telling me to simplify, and I keep muddying up life with many good things that are detracting from the great, the best. Here is an example: the above link to the fun elf dance should have taken me what 15-20 minutes? It took 40 minutes. In that time I could have cleaned the bathrooms, gotten dinner ready for tonight, planned Isaac's 6th grade curriculum for January (at least gotten a good start) or many other fine choices. There is nothing wrong with the fun elf dance. It just took longer than expected and all this small stuff adds up to a full day of not really anything. Ya know?

Another example: I was watching Larry Kudlow last night (I tend to watch him when I am brain dead and ill-as I had the stomach flu yesterday, odd I know) and they were talking about the need for Americans to SAVE MONEY right now during this time of economic breakdown. But we just signed a contract on Tuesday for thousands of dollars of new window and doors. Now we did not plan to do this now, but a brick was thrown through our window while we were in Indiana for Thanksgiving-and we don't live anywhere near the hood! So, rather than replace one 16 yo builder's grade window in the front of our house we are replacing them all. Sure we will save on utilities, but that is not what we had planned.  When will the debt end?! We also got to replace all 4 tires on my car last month, oh the fun.

I keep meaning to teach the boys how to study the Bible well & journal, how to cook, Dave Ramsey's tools for finances, manners, the rest of Young Peacemakers, etc and yet another week goes by, another month, another year and soon they will be gone. No pressure, huh?! I really want to prepare them well for their futures.

Expectations, well, I am glad that the Lord is constantly disillusioning those!  However I do want to have goals, and make decisions that actually move me toward these goals rather than mucking up time, talents, treasures and keeping me from those goals. It just seems as time goes on I am more distracted and busy and unclear than ever. I cannot stand this. I really want 2009 to be about the things that matter most, and not find that yet another year has gone by without seeing the best pursued. 

How about you? For what do you yearn? What do you constantly find on your mind as you begin a new year soon?

I am trying to really really get that the small things add up quickly to something big. That could be in your favor or against it. Be careful. Be intentional!

And then he was 12...

Isaac turned 12 on the 26th!!! I almost have two full blown teenagers!Grandma's homemade cakes. Always a hit. Alex & Colleen got their pie as well. Sans butter. Ask Colleen. ;0)That is Shandy the new addition at the grandparents' home. I think he wore her out! I know she wore out our dog, Phoebe. Isaac is a sweet and precious fella...and a big pest (a dominant Corcoran trait). That is Shandy again-going into Colleen's hair.

Is it genetic or environmental? Age old quandary. A more serene moment in the week.

Honorable mentions!

My Dad turned 79 on the 24th! For his birthday he got to go to the hospital with a blood clot in his lung. Oh the fun.

Breanna turned 18 on the 22nd! She is like family so she gets to go in the blog. :0)

A fine time was had by all.

I do hope you all had a LOVELY Thanksgiving. Don't we have much for which to thank our Lord?! Even if your holiday did not look like a Norman Rockwell painting- the Lord has offered you eternal life thru His Son's death for you on the cross. It doesn't get any better, friends.

The Built-ins!

Wayne Schechter of Yankee Woodworking-wood master and Mike Wilkerson-self employed floor master (wood, carpet, tile, slate, whatever), both made the beauty of our home possible. I finished the built-ins to match the floors. They are all in maple. The pictures make them more yellow than they are in real life. We are so very thankful for how they enhance our home! The mantle will be built soon and then I can stain and finish that as well. It would be nice to have that done by Christmas for the nativity scene. :0)

Thanks guys! It looks GREAT! Now on to fill them with stuff. The stuff that has been lying all over my floor for the last few months. Yea, soon we will have places to sit again!

What was I...?

Do you ever walk into a room to get something and forget what is was you were going to get?

Do you ever start to say something and then forget your point?

Do you ever go to do something and then forget what you were going to do?

Ever forget someone's name? Someone you've known for years?

I remember struggling mightily once to remember the word, table. Ugh!

Tonight I opened my email to retrieve who knows what so that I could go to who knows what website to take care of who knows what. So, I decided to blog about it all instead. Maybe it was all the sugar I ate for dinner?

I found out about Sandy the personal assistant from Robin's Heart of Wisdom blog. I guess you sign up for her free(?) reminder service. She reminds you to send birthday cards (YES!!! I KNOW I NEVER GET THEM OUT), of tasks to do, calls to make, anything I guess.

I always tell my husband I need a good wife. Maybe I just found her? The Lord did not bless me with a brain that remembers things (YES!!! I WRITE IT DOWN) but. Ok, honestly. I had a great one-liner coming, however I just forgot it. Honestly.

So I've kept her website open on my desktop for two days so that I don't forget to try this. If I just add her to the list, she'll get lost in the fry. Now to just find the time to train dear Sandy.... 

A New Corcoran!

Well, sorta new. Quinn Patrick was born to Christopher's brother, Ryan and his wife Stephanie, in May. He was ushered into this world with lots of prayers and much determination and struggle. We are thrilled he is here. Safe and sound. And really cute. Enjoy my indulgence in sharing him with you all!

Bath Time!

Proud Parents!

Happy Grandparents!

Happy Late Birthday (last Saturday) to his Uncle Shawn!!!!!!!!!! We assume it was a lovely time with Kristin!

Counseling Philosophy- Final Draft

Here it is! This is the final draft. A little something to give those who wonder what Biblical Counseling is all about. It is not exhaustive, but I hope it is helpful. There is power in the Word, and we are all in this together!

Counseling Philosophy of Arielle Corcoran

People Face Problems

Do you find yourself struggling to trust God in the midst of ongoing trials? Have you replaced Him with wants that are over emphasized in your life? When you face struggles, whether self-imposed or imposed on you by others, you also come face to face with God. You need to seek the truth about Who God is, and what He has promised you. When in a confident relationship with God you can find peace of mind and purpose.

 

God Offers Promises and Principles

When you struggle with issues you need to start at your circumstances and move inward, deeper to the beliefs and wants you have about the issues at hand. This includes a look at your expectations about the situation and the people involved. At that heart level you can figure out God’s guiding principles for changes, endurance, and for hope you need to go on day to day.

 

Freeing and powerful change comes at that heart level through God’s Bible and His Spirit. Just changing behaviors is not enough to endure the messy ugly stuff of life.  Daily you have things that you need to submit to God. Sometimes you face something too large to tackle on your own, and your perspective is too wrapped up in emotion and circumstances to see God or His promises and commands to which you must cling. It is not unusual to need the counsel of another going along with you to help you find life giving perspectives that return you to a strong relationship with the Lord, for His glory and your joy.

 

God Has Tools for Your Help

We are in all the messy stuff of life together. The church is all the Christ-followers in every nation. He has told us all and equipped us all to mentor, or disciple, one another. In times of crisis a biblical counselor’s “one anothering” is able to offer you hope, and purpose, as well as personal change. Their tools and skills come straight from the love, grace and power of the Lord through His Spirit and the Bible. A biblical counselor is under the authority of the Lord through His Bible and His Spirit, and a biblical counselor is also under the authority of the elders of their local group of Christ-followers, their church. The elders hold the counselor accountable as they help you stay accountable to the Lord and what He asks of you as you. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”(2 Corinthians 1.3-5)

 

Though it is helpful to use resources along with the Bible for the practical application of God’s principles, a counselor must handle these with great care, using materials from authors that believe the Bible is authoritative and inerrant. A biblical counselor ought not use materials from authors that have their foundation in psychology, which does not have a godly foundation and often is at odds with the Lord and what He says in the Bible. What we have been given in His word is sufficient to: bring Him glory, endure life with hope for tomorrow, transform us to Christ’s image, give us strength and guidance. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (2 Peter 1.3-4)

Some great resources are at: CCEF, NANC, and  Biblical Counseling Foundation